Our actions

There are many reasons I am reluctant to write on this blog.

One of them being, I often find myself complete erasing the first draft in frustration.

Do you realize what effect you have on the people around you? You probably don't. You probably don't want to know. We dont really understand what we talk about when we talk about being interdependent, or connected, or even the concept of sin, not really. We have no idea that anything we say or do can effect the people around; the closer we are to them, the more we effect them. Parenthood is the clearest example. If your a parent, everything you do and say around your children will have an effect on them, well into their adult life. I know, some of you might disagree; your wrong. And its not just children, its your spouse, your siblings, your parents, its your co-workers, its strangers on the street. You can effect any of them, at anytime, involuntarily changing their lives for the better or for the worse. You can bring hope. You can cause despair. And you will do it at the times your are least aware of the effects of your actions. Off hand remarks. Stupid mistakes. A momentary bought of forgetfulness. It is almost too much to think about. How can we think about the ways we effect the stranger on the street, or remember to keep from saying some well meaning but callous remark? And the short answer is that you can't.
You will screw up your kids. You will make your spouse misrable. You will hurt people without realizing it.
Why?
Because your human.
So why talk about it?
Because even though we cant keep ourselves from hurting others, by loving them, as best we can. By living lives of Love, the best we can. And yes, even if we have screwed up a thousand times, we can always start again. Even if you are rejected. Even if no one believes that you have changed. Love. Even if they give you nothing in return. Love. Even if it seems absurd. Love. To live for only oneself, its a kind of hell. Lonely. At least I think so, and I kind of lived that life once (as I am sure we all have, and we all will live it again, if only for the briefest moments). Even when it felt like I got nothing back, even when it seemed like Love was poured into an abyss to never return, I still was happier then when i lived only for my own desires. And sometimes, when you love with no thought to yourself, you can do that rare thing and make someones lives better. God be with you. I hope this helps.

The moon

I love the moon. I love to gaze upon it. I have always been in love with the night sky, with space, with stars and planets. Even as a young boy, I would constantly buy books about jupiter and mars. But the moon was special. I could always see the moon, easily, with no trouble.
The reason we can see the moon is because of the sun. the moon is illuminated by the sun, even though we can't see it. Indeed, if the sun did not occasionally move behind the earth, we could never see the moon. It is the sun that lights up the moon's face, revealing its valleys to us. Without the sun the moon would be lost in the light sky, virtually unidentifiable from the rest of the night. Without the sun the earth wouldn't be doing so well either.
we are sometimes afraid of letting go. Afraid of allowing the sun to expose our surface, so that the very world can see us as we are. We want our masks, we want our darkness, or at the very least I know I often times want my mask. And eventually, we mistake the darkness for ourselves, the mask becomes our being. which is ridiculous, a mask is a mask. And it is difficult to "be yourself". We talk alot about it in our civilization, but we rarely live up to our talk. Usually "being yourself" can amount to either "Not being like everyone else" or "being like a special group of people". Thats not really being yourself, its just being different. What we should strive for is the sun, shinning upon our surface, showing the world the truth. And I know some people have issues about their inner and outer appearence; they look at themselves and find the mirror wanting. What they fail to realize is that the mirror we are looking at does not show the true image. sometimes it doesn;t even show a rough outline. So we flee into the comfort of the night sky and hide from the sun.
Do not hide from the sun. You are so beautiful in the eyes of your creator. Embrace the sun the best you can. Be honest, even if it means being flawed. Love with all your heart. Let yourself be who you truly are.

Doing and Being

sorry, sometimes it takes a while to come up with new ideas.

We live in a state of perpetual business. Constantly working, and driving, and watching, and doing. Never simply being. We are always seeking, we are always fighting, struggling. Our world is filled with distractions which we pile up on. And despite all this effort, all this struggling, we manage to miss the mark. All our effort is wasted. Our energies are depleted on things that just don't matter. Don't mistake me, I am not telling you to go out and be hermits in the woods, or enter a monastery. But we do need change. Fundamental change. Most religions say something about change. In Christianity, it is central. Christianity is by its nature revolutionary. Paradoxically, its a Revolutionary Tradition, a tradition of constant change. And every generation our readings of Christianity grow dull, not necessarily because they are false (Remember what the gospel says about doing what they say and not what they do) but because it is not being LIVED. Change must not simply be talked about. It must be lived. By us. But what is the Change? It is the realization that all of our doing is derived from our being. Doing is important, don't get me wrong. But what we do must flow out of who we are. It makes no difference how many good works you do, if your heart is cold to love. So the first step in this great journey is realizing we must love. We must love our fellow human beings and our god, with every fiber of our being. We must love till the loving becomes who we are. God is Love, and we must strive to be like god.

Alienation and Entitlement

There are, I think, three types of Religious people. There are those for whom religion is mainly cultural. These are the people who are devote, but there devote because they have been born into a culture. A part of me is very similar to this type of person. I too was born into my religion; Born catholic. I grew up, and to be honest, I have no story comparable to other peoples conversion story; I have no ‘witness’, not in the traditional sense. That being said, there is nothing wrong with being born into a religion. But if that’s where it ends, then its not so much a religious belief that is held as it is a culture. Its not enough for a person to believe in something because mom and dad did, and grandpa and grandma, and all our ancestors back a thousand years. No, that’s a wonderful heritage, but it’s the beginning. So is, for that matter, Conversion.
The next type is the ideal. Religion becomes real, and one becomes connected to god, and therefore to the rest of the world. One understands, as St. Francis of Assisi came to understand, that we exist in a Brotherhood of Creation, and a Brotherhood of Humanity, and a Brotherhood of Faith. You become aware of God’s possession of all reality, and therefore, act with this universal Brotherhood always in mind. For Christians, this is why Christ died; to reconcile the world to himself.
There is another path to follow. It is the path of extreme alienation and entitlement. God becomes a vessel of culture, made a servant of culture. Culture is made into a great idol, which is fiercely worshiped. Suddenly, life becomes cheep. The worse sins a person can commit are no longer extinguishing the life of another, or defiling a persons dignity, but violating ones culture. It becomes elitist. Few pass through the narrow path, says the bible; but for these, non pass through but those who follow their own culture. Suddenly a single church, of a handful of people, becomes the only people on the earth to be saved. All other people are wicked and deserving as punishment. Sometimes, sinners are beyond forgiveness. One looses all empathy for the people around him; only believers deserve sympathy.
I see some might say to themselves, “ah, I know of these people, they are the (name)”. And indeed, another says, “I understand, he doesn’t think we should judge, like those damn (name).” I am not talking about “them”. I am talking about us. All of us. All people at some point at there life allow themselves to indulged in this sense of alienation and entitlement. “They aren’t like me. They are stupid. Or too liberal. Or too conservative. Or damned.” I am telling you, your beliefs of your own superiority are wrong. Believe me, nobody knows more about the temptation to feel superior then I, a member of one of the largest religions on the earth. And believe me, I speak to myself just as much as anyone. We need to stop believing in our own righteousness. God is righteous. We’re just human. Therein is the nature of humility.

And if after all that, you still find yourself saying, “He doesn’t know them like I know them. He is a fool to think them the same as me,” then I recommend you stop reading. Nothing will speak to you in my writing.

the 'other'

Well, I am back, I hope you are not too disapointed in me. I was kind of worried that writing this thing was an arrogance on my part. But, my friend, Kathleen, was insistant that I continue. So here I am.

As I reflect on Kathleens simple request that I continue, I am reminded of a very important aspect of religion to remember. We must always be cognative, as a people that follow in Gods way, that the people outside of Christianity, or even our particular demnominations, are not evil people. They are not wicked. They are indeed sinners, but as always, we are reminded not to fish for a speck in our brother's eye while we have a log in our own. We are not called to judge others, but rather to love them with open disinterested hearts, just as God does. Do you approach people with a heart full of hope, or do you approach them with expectations? Do we have faith in people, or do we distrust instinctively because of differences of nationality or sect? Do we love honestly and openingly every person, or do we close are hearts off?
Understand that God works through our lives through all people. He sends us these people for a reason.
I am reminded of God's message to Cyrus in Isaiah 5. God annoints a man who was not part of the jewish faith to do his works. And God even reconizes that Cyrus "[Does] not know me."
I am also reminded of John, when Jesus comes to Jacob's well and finds a samaritan woman drawing water. He asks for water, which was unusual at the time because Jews did not associate with Samaritans. SHe reacts in surprise. He tells her then that he has come to offer the "living water" to the people. She sees in him what the disciplies have not truly realized at this point, that he is the messiah. It is one of my favorite texts in the bible.
What these stories tell us is that all people are part of this grand scheme. And in the end, we might think we have an advantage over others because of our faith, but if we cannot love the 'other', then our faith is meaningless. Do not fear, I know it is hard, but He is with you.

Death...

ARe you ready to die? Oh what a question to ask. Its so morrib and disturbing. But its very relevant. Are your ready to die? if you had to go tommorow, if you got sick or a bus hit your, or who knows what, would you be ready? Or would there be regrets? would there be things you didn't tell people? would there be goals never accoplished? Would you be ready? Because, no matter what you believe, we have only a short time on this mortal coil.
Now maybe you aren't the type of person that needs to visit the amazon or go sky diving before they die. But for each of us, there are things we need to at least start doing. Whatever that might be. There are things we wanted to do but never picked up. There are novels and paintings and all sorts of beautiful things waiting at home. So pick them up. Maybe it doesn't matter if you ever can get done, but that you where part of the process.
And of course, don't let things go unsaid. DOn't let it fester inside of you. Let those you love know you love them, and let those who you've hurt know your sorry, and let those who have hurt you, also know that. I know I have at least two letters I need to send.
Its not about being morrib. Its not really about death. Its about living. Live a good life. A life filled with love. Be who you are suppose to be. And if its all over tommorow, yes, there will be sorrow. But there will be a joy that outlasts the sorrow, in the hearts of those you leave behind; your love will live inside of them forever. Thanks be to God.

Why I believe

Everyday is a struggle, I know. Its hard to walk the right path. I myself can feel myself slipping; luckily I haven't slipped yet. So me share something. SOmething mystical, poetic almost. Let me tell you why I believe in God.

I believe because the earth in all its perfection, in all its beuty. I believe because of the vibrancy of life. Because of the little birds that clean the backs of Rhinos. I believe because of the complexity of life. Of all the connections between us. Of a thousand different cultures, each managing to be unique and special. Of billions of people, each their own person. In life in the millions, destorying and creating in never ending cycle. I believe because of the simplicity of things. That we all share traits that can bind us together. That we all live and love and laugh.
I believe because what I have been given. I believe because of those around me. I believe because of the Circle of Family and Friends. I believe because of Gisele, Mark, Shawn, Arielle, Kathleen, Pantea and Mathew and many others I cannot list. I believe because of those who believe with me. Because of the priests and lay who haven't given in. I believe because of all we has a people have accoplished. I believe because of all we have yet to achieve. I believe because when I was a child I cried out for a friend; and I found one.

I know, maybe this makes me a delusional fool. Maybe I am a madman. I am not wise. All I know is those that love me; that is all. And so I know well the one who loves me the most. If this didn't make sense, oh well. If it did, good. This is life. Thank you for reading.